The 8 Weirdest Talents from ‘Figure It Out’
Let’s take a moment for weird ’90s game shows, shall we? From buckets of questionable green liquid to jungle-themed obstacles courses haunted by men in monkey suits, our childhood memories are composed of some seriously bizarre televised entertainment.
Upon the news that Legends of the Hidden Temple is returning to television, we fell down a rabbit hole of nostalgia, revisiting a ton of our most beloved old-school game shows, including arguably the weirdest, Figure It Out. If you’re not familiar with the show, you’ve been totally deprived, but we’ll explain it to you: Essentially, the game show brought in kids with atypical talents or accomplishments, and a panel of celebrity judges ask questions in order to figure them out.
From driving lawnmowers across the country and singing crawfish to sleep, we compiled a list of the strangest, most hilarious talents from Figure It Out to remember one of the greatest game shows in television history.
Two-Time Crab Racing Champion
Most kids join their local soccer leagues or join the swim team, but shoutouts to the parents who were cool with their kid pursuing his dream to become a crab racing champion. He clearly had a knack for it, having beat out his competition not once, but twice (we’re not entirely sure how cutthroat these crab races are, but we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt).
Invented the Talking Toilet
When there would ever be a need for a talking toilet, we’re not sure. Does it speak as you’re using it? What would it even say? We guess this is dope?
Demonstrates Alligator Camouflage Behavior
This sounds more like a citation or psychiatric assessment than a talent. But no. It’s just another Figure It Out super kid doing some weird stuff. If you’re wondering what “demonstrated alligator camouflage behavior” actually means btw, you’re not alone. Did the contestant somehow turn his or her skin olive-grey? Or maybe they can contort their body in such a way that it mirrors a rock? Regardless, watch out for this human gator during your next swamp adventure.
Bites Cheese into Shapes of States
On the first-ever episode of Figure It Out, some kid flexed on the world by uncovering that he can shape slices of cheese into surprisingly accurate depictions of US states. By no means is this a normal hobby, but his parents must have been stoked that he was showing an early interest in geography.
Sings Crawfish to Sleep
I think the most common question we have with the various talents on this list is how on earth did the Figure It Out contestants discover them? When are you ever in a place, physically and mentally, to sing to a crawfish (first of all), and continue to do so until it appears to fall asleep? How can you even tell it’s sleeping? Chalk this one up to a kid doing kid things—that is, displaying irrational, yet somewhat adorably adventurous, behavior.
Frozen Salmon Tossing Champion
Like, the only explanation we have for this is if this kid grew up in Alaska, where they have super extreme field day events. Regardless, this is one of the rarest accomplishments we’ve ever heard of, and for that we have to give him the W.
Collects Chewed Gum to Freshen Car
Chewed gum will stick to your shoes more than Sean Paul sticks to his girls (like glue). Yet somehow, a Figure It Out contestant transformed what would normally be an irritatingly adhesive piece of trash into car freshener. How? Well, the episode never fully discloses—yes, we found the episode—how the fruity or minty smell lingers. This is definitely one of those, “Don’t question it, just accept it” type deals.
Drove Lawnmover Across the Country
Guys, we spent probably too much time trying to unpack this one logistically. Driving more than, like, half a mile seems like a reach for most consumer lawnmowers, so we’re not entirely sure how this kid went bicoastal in a landscaping machine. Plus, where were this kid’s parents? Regardless, though, that kind of ambition is admirable, so shoutouts to you.