Five Imaginary Hip-Hop Concept Albums
Rap is a genre especially well-suited to making concept albums–the sheer number of words in the average rap song lends itself to storytelling. Despite this theoretical advantage, great concept albums are few and far between. It’s unsurprising all-time weirdos MF Doom (MM..Food), Del the Funkee Homosapien (Deltron 3030, with Dan the Automator), and Kool Keith (Dr. Octagonecologyst, also with Dan the Automator) have created incredible projects. The concept album isn’t dead, though. It’s just dormant. Here are a few of rap’s forthcoming concept albums:
Jay Z & Amazon Collaborate
Jay Z’s Magna Carta Holy Grail was released in partnership with South Korean multinational Samsung, whose customers received the album for free via a customized mobile app. Jay Z’s next album, Bill of Rights Holy Guacamole, will be a partnership with Amazon. The album will literally “drop” via delivery drones drones from precipitous heights on the heads of victims/listeners; small USBs of the album will be fired into houses, weddings, hospitals, and schools full of suspected Nas fans.
A$AP Rocky Goes Adult Contemporary
Inspired by the Rod Stewart sample on “Everyday” from his latest album At. Long. Last. A$AP, A$AP Rocky will collaborate with Rod Stewart and a host of other adult-contemporary staples. Stewart will be joined by fellow stars Michael Bolton, Kenny G, Michael Buble, and Sarah McLachlan, and production will be handled solely by John Tesh, better known as “The Mayonnaise Metro Boomin.”
Drake Gets Back To His Roots
After moving into a South Bronx apartment, Drake has taken to wearing adidas Shell Toes with matching tracksuits, keeps trying to spraypaint moving trains (he’s painfully unaware of the MTA’s train yards), and won’t shut up about hip-hop being dead. His forthcoming album, 5 God (so named for the number of hip-hop’s “elements”), will feature only analog production, scratching and cutting by Grandmaster Flash, and numerous guest verses from KRS-One reminding you that this is “Real Hip-Hop!”
Future Time Travels To The Future
After making Gucci flip-flops high(er) couture, and becoming the Cosimo de’ Medici of Atlanta’s Magic City, Future, emboldened by his success, will time-travel into the future before returning to the present day to record his next album. For the most part, Future’s reportage from 2025 is disheartening: Lower Manhattan will be partially underwater, making the hottest neighborhood “NOWL” (North Of the Water Line). The American middle class will have cratered (they will, quite literally, be living in craters). Drake will have sucessfully run for Israeli Prime Minister. It’s not all bad, though–Future and Ciara get back together in 2023.
Jaden Smith Reenacts The Entirety of His Father’s Career
In advance of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air being remade, with Jaden Smith in the lead role, he’ll also release of cover his father’s hit “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” While the elder Smith shared tales of unfashionable clothing, the younger Smith has different issues: Parents just don’t understand Jaden’s tweets, his belief in prana energy, or why he won’t stop squinting.