Jacques La Merde is the “Soigné West” of Instagram

Chef Jacques La Merde is making waves on Instagram with his unique approach to turning some old and not-so-fancy food items into some nouveaux delicacies. Let’s just say he’ll inspire you to go full Emeril Lagasse with some foods that when mixed might actually make you a little gassy.

Hot pockets garnished with Spongebob soup pieces and drizzled with sports drink gel are some of the ingredients that make up the meals strewn about the Instagram account of this mysterious figure we’ll refer to as "Soigné West."

Like super-producer Kanye, everything created by La Merde is a collaboration of flavors, each dish a cacophony of textures and colors, and a mastery kitchen-fare or tweezers.

La Merde has created five-star fusions like the "Jalapeno Popper, Pepperoni Stick Brunoise, with Big Y Macaroni Salad, topped off with a Goldfish gravel" and what may be the most deceivingly delectable of the bunch, the "French Fry Puree, Warm Breaded Fish Slab, Tartar Sauce Spheres and Cole Slaw Ash."

No longer will you have to trudge late night to the pantry or fridge in hopes that there may be something legitimate actually awaiting you. With the help of Master Chef Jack La Merde you too can now look to your cabinets, most likely teeming with the junkiest of junk-foods, and get your Super Mario Batali on.

While La Merde doesn’t quite provide instructions on how to construct some of these artful dishes, he offers gems in the form of his image captions. Often calling out staff or commenting on detractors in the form of curmudgeons griping on Yelp, La Merde shows some personality in the way that he provides a narrative for his work, sometimes even cataloguing his dishes.

Check out the Jacques La Merde account here, and follow along to see what he’ll craft next. If you think you can do a better job then you’re probably right, all it takes is a Google translate search of this illustrious chef’s name and you’ll get the joke.

Images: Chef Jacques La Merde

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